Sometimes I feel like the dumbest person alive; getting outwitted by a dog.
Worse yet, not even realizing it.
I'm telling you, dogs are the biggest con men around.
First I buy into my dog, DJ's manipulative little head-shake when he wants yet another snack. Okay, we're communicating, I rationalize. What's the biggie if I concede an innocuous bit of control? Besides, it keeps him quiet and busy.
For a few minutes at least - until he gives me that "I'm so cute you should give me another treat" look.
And again I rationalize, what's the harm? It's just another healthy snack. So I give him another tasty tidbit of $72/lb Wagyu beef, sirloin, his favorite.
Yes indeed, the pesky terrier is just too cute for his own good. Who cares about the conventional dog-training wisdom? He's my dog and I will do as I please.
...actually, how he pleases.
Like his annoying insistence on two walks by 9.30 AM or he'll poop behind my desk. I get it, the fuzzy brat doesn't like to do his business during our 7 AM walks. (He hasn't had his coffee). After all, the early walks are for sprinkling his mark on every tree, pole and garbage bin in the neighborhood. Understand that DJ feels it's imperative to let his neighborhood sniffing buddies know that "he was there," so that they will inevitably reciprocate.
I guess that DJ thinks that the 9.30 walk is a far more civilized time to do his business. The bowels are a little looser at that time. Besides, he prefers pooping in the park across from my office - (he comes to work with me) - where he can enjoy a leisurely squat under the 60-foot oak tree while watching manic squirrels play tag.
But the 9.30 walk is a pain in the butt for me! I've got things to do, customers to see, bills to pay. Would it not be unreasonable if DJ could get it all done in one nice morning walk a day?
Of course it would fine, I realized eight years later. Why am I a slave to his carefree ways? Who's the boss anyways?
So I skipped his 7.30 AM sorties and changed our morning routine to a single 9 AM walk. Surprisingly, not only did DJ not seem to mind, but he didn't leave any unsavory pieces of doggy doo behind my desk.
You bet it felt good to outsmart my dog even though it took some time. Way too much time. Once thing I can assure you though, I will never again be hoodwinked by a dog.
In any case, gotta run now, DJ's nodding his head and that means it's time for his bone or he'll tinkle on my desk.